I’m going to reveal some personal information here. Ready? I’m a Star Trek fan. There, I said it. That used to really get people made fun of in high school. But, I’m so over that fear. I’ve learned to importance of being authentic. That’s actually one of my highest values. Not, “You do you,” but just, “You Be You.” I like that. Just Be Yourself. Seriously. The world needs more people who have come alive.
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman
So, back to Star Trek. Why did I bring that up? Because of the “Personal Log” reference. In Star Trek, there was always this thing where the Captains introduced the episode with a voice over to give the viewers a little information about the plot. Every now and then, they would use the phrase, “Personal Log,” when they would talk about something more personal than the facts of what the Enterprise was doing.
For readers of mybooks, blog, podcast, etc., I don’t often talk that much about myself, rather preferring to stick to the larger philosophies I like to talk about, such as, how to save the world in 6 days.
But today I’m going to make a little foray into my personal life and describe a bit about the journey I’ve been on. Like most Star Trek episodes, this story is intended to have a moral.
Over the past 2 years, I’ve been rewiring my mind. It’s been intense. Learning not just new facts, but a whole new way of being. Interacting with the world.
There’s a book called, “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself,” which I would highly recommend by Joe Dispenza. I would maybe call that book, “Breaking the habit of Not Being Yourself.”
The version of me who I am today, is who I want to be, who I see myself as, truly. Who I was before was a series of “programs” inherited from culture, family, etc. A series of conditioned behaviors that were symptoms of the culture we lived in, that I never really agreed with, but lived them out anyway. That was not me. It’s been a journey.
I’ve never been a self-help junkie, but I have experienced some amazing self-empowerment immersion weekends. The local Eugene group, Solsara, run by Larry Kaplowitz is an amazingly rich experience that truly helps you unveils a lot about yourself. That was one of the highlights. Another that I attended in St. Louis was called, “The New Game.” That was my first profound experience in the realm of becoming my true self.
I hope you’re getting something out of this so far. When I talk about myself and my own experiences, sometimes I wonder if I’m just rambling.
When I quit my 6-figure job as a web designer 2 years ago, it was because the work was unfulfilling and not in line with my soul’s purpose. I took a healthy savings account and gave myself a purpose: become the best version of myself. That’s been the path I’ve been on.
2 years later, I consider that I have fulfilled that role to my own personal satisfaction (which is all that’s important). I also see the ways in which others respond to me and the way I engage and care for others. I like it. I like who I am. I like how I engage in the world. Everything around us is always a mirror for who we are, and I like what the world is reflecting back to me. I think that’s the best way to describe what it means to become the best version of yourself.
Now, next step. Purpose beyond self. Higher calling. Yes, that. That’s what I left my job for in the first place, right? But knowing that the work I really wanted to do, I couldn’t in good conscience begin to do until I was happy with who I was. Now I know that it’s true that we shouldn’t wait to begin until we’re perfect. That kind of thinking just says we’re never good enough and we’re never going to be good enough — and that’s just more of the same old toxic cultural messaging that leaves us feeling unempowered and a victim. We’ll never be perfect. But I do believe it’s important to spend the amount of time necessary to come into alignment with your true self before stepping out in a big, big way into the world to really be seen.
Heal yourself, be the best version of yourself. That’s especially important for me and the life of purpose I feel this deep call to.
I’ve told a few people before what that calling was, and there were always the ones who said I was ridiculous.
There was this one sweet elderly lady (at least she was usually sweet), but on one occasion she was very vocal about telling me how she felt I was wasting my time pursuing the path I was on.
Why, why, why, would anyone ever want to discourage someone from their dreams? Well, that’s mostly the kind of culture we live in. One that tells us we can be whatever we want to be, and then backhandedly tells us, that’s stupid, get a real job. When she told me I was wasting my time, I believed her, and it set me back several years.
Today, I look at her words of wisdom as a great guide. Surely, if I was so readily willing to believe her, I really didn’t believe in myself. And I wasn’t ready to be what I am now.
My dad, too, used to always tell me how bad of a writer I was. He was super critical when I was growing up.
The real lesson I had to learn was to stop believing people who tell us we can’t do something. There is so much of that type of message floating around out there in our culture, which really seems to seek ways to disempower individuals. Why would it do that? More importantly, why would we listen?
For me, the answer was because I was raised with those messages, pre-disposing me to believe them. That’s one of the ways I had to learn to break the habit of NOT being myself.
I choose to be a really positive person. A Positive Enabler. Maybe “positive empowerment coach” would be a better phrase. Because I really seek to surround myself with empowered people, not enablers. But Positive Empowerment Coach sounds so Tony Robbins-esque.
I think Tony Robbins, specifically, was the person the sweet elderly lady was thinking of when she told me I was wasting my time. Actually, what she really said was that everyone in the motivational, self-empowerment field were full of sh*t. Ouch. That really stung when she said that.
And it’s actually taken me 2 years to get over that. You know, words are powerful. We know that, so why do we use such toxic words with each other so often? Why do we “jackle” each other (in the language of Marshall Rosenburg and Non-violent communication). We may never know “why.” Perhaps it’s not important. (Though I do believe asking why is usually very useful.) Why do we believe what we believe? Why do we believe we aren’t good enough?, etc.
But in this case, maybe asking why really doesn’t matter.
My purpose in life — my vocation… my calling … my gift, and the way I choose and desire and know I can earn a living — is being a motivational guy (but not like Tony Robbins). Not my flavor. More like Wayne Dyer, Jim Carrey, those guys. I like that Steve Harvey fellow, too.
Here’s me: I want to inspire people to be ourselves, no matter what anyone else says about it. Know that you deserve what you want. And, but, also, don’t “chase” it. Accept that you are deserving.
Believe that “what you’re seeking is also seeking you.”
Not “You do you,” but “You be you.”
This is an empowering universe. We’re not really always taught that. We’re taught that it’s competitive and survival of the fittest, and all that old-paradigm macho masculine stuff. And because we believe that and, as a culture, we’ve taught our kids that for so long, we’ve created a human world where that is the case.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. The more and more of us who start believing and acting differently than this old story would have us act, that’s how we create a more beautiful world.
We have a choice. The good news is more and more of us are believing in that new choice and living according to it everyday. It’s slow steps at first, but I believe that there are many more souls among us who long, desire, yearn, for the motivation, heck, just the excuse, to believe that it’s possible to live in a different world. In accordance with a different story.
Are you one of them?
2 years ago, I was. And I’m choosing, every day, to make decisions, in line with the worldview I choose, not the one I’ve been conditioned to act out of because of habit.
I teach this stuff. Classes, workshops, immersions, one-on-one coaching. If you have even the slightest inkling to believe this stuff — this Wayne Dyer stuff — please, be in touch. I’d love to hear from more of you who want to live in this world. The more of us there are, who cooperate, the easier it becomes to bring it about. My goal, my purpose, is to build community around this worldview. Together, in cooperation, we thrive. One new choice at a time.
It’s my deepest calling to earn a living this way. To be of service to a more beautiful world for all of us.
Thanks for reading. If you’ve made it this far, perhaps you’d be willing to come a little further and join a Success Circle. Let’s do this work together.